The white elephant gift exchange has one rule: spend under $25 and reveal nothing about your personality. This is harder than it sounds. Most gifts say something. A candle says you gave up. A mug that says "World's Best Boss" says you are the boss's favorite, which is worse.
Our recommendation: a mug that says "calories: yes." It answers the only question anyone asks at a party. It costs less than $25. It says nothing about you, because it is a statement about food.
Alternative: a mug that says "no pain no gian". Gian has been notified. Nobody at the exchange will know who Gian is, which means nobody will know anything about you.
Both are under $25. Both are final. The computer has moved on.
© 2026 Sort Of Ish™. All typos intentional.